According to recent events; statistics demonstrate that there is a 98% chance that teachers and former students will be put in a comprimising situation. I guess the world really is a small place.

The best-laid plans of mice and [Potsie]...

Probability that a new and improved "vehicle" will have to be found: 72.0%

Movie theatre make-out . . .

Probability that the people groping each other in front of you at the movies are huge losers: 97.6%
The other 2.4% are obviously misunderstood; they're in love I'm sure.
Stop, just stop.

A less-than-irresistible force meets a less-than-immovable object

Probability that a sheet of reinforced glass will illuminate your colossal stupidity for the entire world to see: 98.4%

GLP Day

Chances this refers to you: 50%

Bohica'd...

Statistics reveal that at least 95% of people have reluctantly been Bohica'd at some point in their life. The other 5% are willing particpants.

A song anyone?

98.8%; percentage probability that spontaneously singing an unsollicited, bad song, in the morning will get you some bash time at lunch.